accepting my look.

Hello hello! Happy Cinco De Mayo 🎉  This month I am going to be sharing weekly posts from other bloggers about body positivity. I did this last year and you all loved it so I wanted to do it again! This first post is from Kristin (a total babe) who blogs over on her lifestyle blog. I really hope you guys enjoy these posts as much as I do!


Having a unique look is something that is essential for a blogger. You must be one-of-a-kind; you must be doing something that no one else is doing. Since I started blogging, never once did I think that I didn’t have “the look.” In fact, when I started blogging, I didn’t even know that a look was necessary. I wore what I want when I wanted to. That’s how I went through my daily life. I loved fashion and that’s what I thought mattered. Little did I know that blogging would be one of the hardest things to ever hit my self-esteem.

Earlier this year, I was rejected from working with a brand because I didn’t have “the look” they wanted for their brand vision. They told me that I didn’t have the right style. They wanted New York City It-Girl and I was too girl-next-door cute for them. I didn’t think anything of it at first. Perhaps I was a little frustrated that they tried to put my style into a category with which I didn’t agree.

As I started watching them work with other fashion bloggers, I noticed something that I wish I didn’t. Every fashion blogger they paired with was cute; the NYC It-Girls that the brand told me they so desperately wanted. In fact, they seemed even further from NYC It-Girl than I was with their bright pink lipsticks, lacy tops, and lace up nude wedges. But that wasn’t what I noticed. Every single one of them had a specific look; they had fair skin, curly blonde hair (or light brown hair maybe with highlights), with light eyes. I couldn’t identify with a single one.

This hit me harder than I wanted it to. I spent hours on their Instagram profile, digging for photos of a minority, any minority. When I was angry enough, I turned off my phone, avoiding the blogging world that sent me spinning into this downward spiral.

That was the first time I ever felt like my race had impacted my work as a blogger. In my three years of blogging, I hadn’t once experienced something like this. For the most part, blogging is a diverse industry with great supportive girls. But this made me question my worth and it made me question whether or not this was the industry I should be in. It was painful and was a crushing blow to my self-esteem. It made me question myself as a blogger. Was I good enough to be doing this? Could I ever succeed in this industry?

It can be hard to bounce back in an industry built on likes, Instagram-fame, and social validation. When I saw how other bloggers were doing, it sometimes felt like more pressure to conform to a certain look and take photos in a certain way. It felt like everyone just wanted one specific thing from bloggers, and I didn’t have it.

Sometime later, I started doing something that one of my body-positive friends told me to do: pick out a feature each day and genuinely compliment yourself on it. At first, I smiled at myself in the mirror and admitted that I loved my smile. Slowly, I got to my thick eyebrows and even to my button nose that I had never liked before. Eventually, I was able to look in the mirror and admit to myself that my race was something that I could not change but my race made me unique in an industry where I was underrepresented.

Coming to terms with my appearance in a highly visual industry like this is difficult and it’s a constant daily struggle. Sometimes it’s pretty blog posts that give me the push to move on, sometimes it’s the daily support I get from other bloggers, all as unique as I am.

When I started to look at what made me unique, my content improved. I felt like I could show off my personal style once again. Loving yourself gives you confidence to continue showing who you are off to the world. It improves all aspects of your life. I accepted who I was and found myself again. I felt free. Maybe I don’t have the right “look” for some, but I have the right look for me. I am me and the people who can’t accept that aren’t worth dwelling on.

Loving yourself isn’t easy, not when the whole world is telling you not to. It’s ok to go against the norm, take the advice from someone who learned this lesson far too late. And if you don’t? Fake it until you make it. Smile at yourself in the mirror, compliment the things you love about yourself and the things you can do. If you don’t love your legs but they let you play the sport you love, then you have everything to love about them. You have everything to love about who you are because each aspect is what makes you uniquely you. Validation, especially when it’s at our fingertips, is great, but the only true validation you need is from yourself.

Comments

  • Angela Tolsma

    I love that you are doing a series featuring other bloggers and focusing on body positivity!

    I love love the paragraph about picking a feature and genuinely complimenting yourself. One of my goals this year has been to diversify my social media, because it’s exhausting only having those IT girls showing up because they aren’t all that’s there.

  • Melissa

    I love that fake it till you make it. I feel like a can do attitude goes a long way and I have modeled for a lot of different brands and I just be myself. Great post and keep it up.

  • Meghan Cooper

    I love the body positive idea! I’ve slowly accepted my body after having two kids. I’ve found fashions that flatter me and rolled with it.

  • Terri Steffes

    I have to say, I have no idea what race you are, but I, too, love your smile and your infectious way of writing. I think you are beautiful and one of my favorite fashion bloggers. I always learn something!

  • Karen | GlamKaren.com

    Kristin, your thoughts hit so close to home. And, I love your overall vibe of loving yourself. Hard to remember on the regular, but so important!

  • Kristina

    I love who I am. I’m unique and different. I see myself differently sometimes of how others see me but some hit the nail on the head about my characteristics.

  • daniella

    I love your site’s logo and theme! Is it wordpress? Also great post!

  • jessi

    body positivity is so important! I have found that I need to learn to be better at embracing myself to show my daughter that she should do the same!

  • Jeanine

    Love this. i need more of this in my life as body positivity is a hard thing for me personally, but I am working on it!

  • Joanna @ Everyday Made Fresh

    I love your story. What a great inspiration for those that struggle…fake it until you make it! Loving yourself is so hard, especially with so many women in Hollywood that aren’t real, and are airbrushed when we see them. I love the looking at things in different angles, like the legs, that you may not love, but the sport that they allow you to play.

  • Nikki

    Kristin is absolutely beautiful! This is such a neat series, what a great way to celebrate diversity and embrace the beauty in all of us!

  • roxy

    I hear you on this! Some brands have a very narrow vision of who they’ll work with, and it turns me off of those brands. I much prefer to see retailers working with women of all ages, ethnicities and skin types! Sometimes I understand that a campaign needs a certain type of person (i.e. they wouldn’t want someone lithe for an ‘honor your curves’ campaign) but when the whole ad seems to be about being blonde, tall and skinny I just roll my eyes and feel very turned off towards the brand.

  • Heather

    To me, the things that make someone unique is what makes them beautiful. Cookie cutter is so boring. You are so pretty that obviously, this company has bad judgment! Rejection is hard though. Recently I was passed over for something I have worked years towards. It just made me remember though that anything that is truly meant for me will come to me and anything that does not it is because something better will be along shortly.

  • Amanda Love

    This is very well said! I love that you rose from the rejection and came out stronger and empowered. It’s better to embrace who you are than to follow what everyone wants. I can’t wait for your posts about positivity!

  • Heather

    This is a great reminder to find something new everyday to love about ourselves. We all have stories of rejection, but then we get back up and feel awesome when something goes right. You are beautiful!

  • Carolyn

    I love this series. It is such a good thing to remember to be kind to ourselves and have positive self-talk.

  • Rachel

    I love your focus on loving yourself. I think looking different is good and wish that more people understood that too.

  • Roxanne

    No one else is going to love you as much as you do! So love what your body can do for you! You’re beautiful inside and out and I wish you all the best with your journey to body positivity!

  • Vera

    I absolutely loved this read. Thank you so very much for posting this. I know I am personally hard on myself and my outward appearance and I need a reminder to love what I have at times.

  • Nikki Arnold

    Wow that sounds like a brand that I wouldnt want to shop from. I think the great thing about fashion is that its meant for everyone. All different body types, cultures, and ethnicities and if I were the brand, I would want to reach a well rounded variety of women. I think this was a great suggestion for you though and I am going to try that out myself each day!

  • Lily @militaryfamof8

    I am sorry she went through this, I know all too well what that feels like; and now it branches over to age as well. It’s good to see someone higjhlight the positive things about them 😉

  • Cindy Ingalls

    I can definitely relate to this post because I have doubted my worth in the blogging industry. I am a 60 yr old beauty blogger in a world of Instagram Kardashian wannabes. It wasn’t so bad when I started 7 yrs ago, but now it seems to be all about how you look. Very disappointing but I won’t stop blogging because I know there are women out there my age that like having their viewpoint represented.

  • Cecilia Cannon

    what is there to accept, you have a great look! you got rejected from a brand that probably a lot of women canNOT relate to. Go conquer!